Alone

Pain experience

In the morning when I came to visit my patient, she was indeed very pleased to see me. She was far way better than the previous days I had been with her. I asked her why she is in such a happy mood today. She was enthusiastically answering my question and I was very glad about it. She was very thankful because she was able to tell her mom about her hospitalization but mostly she’s happy because finally the doctor agreed to sedate her during the procedure PTMC (Percutaneous Transvenous Mitral Commissurotomy). She had been discussing this matter with the doctor and finally they agreed that’s why nothing can change the way she’s feeling right now. Although it was discussed to her many times that this will not cause her so much pain, what really frightens her is that maybe she will not be able to tolerate the procedure.

Pain is defined as an unpleasant sensation which occurs in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder. We all have our own experience of pain and of being hurt by someone or by something. Whatever it is that causes us pain, we tend to avoid it because we don’t want to experience the same feeling we had felt before. We are frightened to be in that kind of situation once more. We don’t want to be in that same experience again. But did it ever cross our mind at least once that in most times, it is in pain that we find meaning in life?

Pain experience leads us to so many realizations in life. Imagine those who are diagnosed with terminal illnesses, they are hurt so much both physically and emotionally and this makes them realized so many things in their life. I don’t know exactly what they are feeling because I was not in that kind of situation and I would never want to be. But as what I’ve observed with the patients I’ve handled and encountered, sick people value life more than those who are well. I can say that those who are with health conditions tend to have a more positive outlook in life. They see their life in a different way, that even in their darkest hour they can still see a light, a glimpse of hope that everything will be okay.

It is pain that reminds us that there is something in life that we should value. It is in pain that we realized the importance of family, friend, relationship, companionship and so many things. It is in pain that we value our faith and recognize the existence of God. It is in pain that we discover our own strength.

As a nurse, who had been exposed to patients experiencing different kinds of pain, I have realized that there are so many things that I should value in life.  I should be very thankful to God for so many things, I am not the one who is sick and needs help would be one. I have the opportunity to touch someone’s life and help them make the most of it would be another thing. I am alive and ready to experience what pain life would bring because I so believe that I have my friends and family who will be there when such time comes.

May we all have the same realizations in life even without the experience of pain.  

communication

I was about to observe my patient undergoing Transesophageal Echocardiography (TEE) today but unfortunately the procedure was postponed because my patient is uncooperative. She was too nervous. I guess nobody explained clearly how the procedure would go and what is expected from her.  Probably, it was explained to her in a language she is not so much familiar with. She was then asked to lie still and to relax. But how will you expect someone to relax if she doesn’t have a clear picture of what’s going to happen and why do they need to do it with her? Perhaps all she knew is that you want that long tube to be inside her and how is it possible without causing her so much discomfort. For someone who’s not in the medical field, that would definitely scare her preventing her to give her full cooperation in the procedure.

If I will be in her situation, I would surely feel the same thing. Being naïve and not knowing what’s going to happen is somehow scary. Imagine a situation where someone will ask me to enter a dark room wherein I don’t know what is inside and what’s going to happen once I enter that room. How will I feel about it? Of course it will create a lot of questions and fear. All scary things that is possible to think of will definitely enter my mind and in the end I will not probably go inside that room at all even if it was really necessary for me to do that.

In real life, there are a lot of things I am frightened of and mostly I am afraid of something I don’t have control over and something that I don’t have knowledge about. In some instances it’s very hard for me to decide on things especially when I totally don’t know about the possible consequences of whatever decision I will make. Most of the time, I tend to consult someone regarding certain things and once it is explained to me clearly and all my doubts had been answered, I will be somehow enlightened. The fear I have inside will in some way be lessen.

This also applied to our patient, as a nurse everything we do to them should be explained and doubts should also be entertained. This made me realized the important role of the nurses in answering the inquiries of patients regarding certain nursing procedures. Going back to basic, let us remember that before doing any nursing intervention, we really need to find time to explain what we are going to do with our patient. In our busy work schedule, sometimes we take for granted to spare even little of our precious time to clarify with them some things.  Mostly, we are too pre-occupied with our work so we tend to neglect this important role. Well’ I guess it’s time for me to remind myself again of this simple but very important thing, effective communication with our patient is very therapeutic and should never be ignored at all.

Let’s start communicating again and show them that we care. J

-cha-

Charo @ 28

I may age but my heart and mind will forever be a kid. 

bday challenge.

I woke up early to start the day right and to prepare myself for the first day of my practicum. I should be happy and thankful because after all the hassle and stress that I’ve been through just to be able to continue with this, finally here I am on my first day.

It was one of those days wherein I expected everything to be running smoothly for all of us especially for me since it is my birthday. This day should be special. I should be treated special. I was telling myself that nothing could go wrong and that everyone should be very friendly with me because it is my day but unfortunately they don’t know it and even if they knew, they wouldn’t care. In reality, people are not always the same and that they are not always there to help.  The fact that they don’t know me at all; expecting all the staff there will make everything easy for me should be the least of my concern.

I am a total stranger in that place. They just saw me for the first time and probably they just see me as a student who keeps on disturbing them in their busy working hours just for the sake of completing my requirements. Learning from what our preceptor told us, the bottom line is that I should not expect anyone else to make things easy for me. I need to have that initiative to help myself in anyway because no one else will. I was still indeed thankful to some of the staff who was gladly assisting us in anyway in spite of their toxic duty.

Cardiac patients should have that same initiative, for them to be able to change their unhealthy ways. They need to help themselves in order to live longer. I remembered the reaction of one of the patient we observed during stress testing, after hearing that the result is positive her face went blank. After the doctor explained everything, probably knew that she really needs to change her lifestyle and that she needs to embrace those changes in order start saving her life. No matter how helpful and supportive her family and friends would be if she doesn't possess that initiative to change and help herself, it would be useless and all efforts will be put to waste.

Initiating change in one’s lifestyle will require a lot of emotional strength and discipline, first in the part of the person involve as well as to the family.  As a nurse, I guess I should have that enough patience to constantly remind them about what they need to do and what they need to change in order for them to have the strength and initiative to help themselves.

-Charo Adame-