this serious thing.

I wanted to experience more of my freedom before committing myself to something so serious...something that would change my life and my priorities. It’s not that I don’t want "change", perhaps, I’m just afraid of what might happen because personally I don’t know what to do and how to adapt to that certain change in my life. I know I should be thankful. I know I will someday but right now, I really don’t know what to feel.  

Its not that I’m not ready for anything. Maybe I’m still enjoying my life now and to be honest, I’m a bit afraid of taking chances.  I’m afraid that this “serious thing” might just ruin what we have now…because now we are so much better being “in a relationship”. I know that this “serious thing” will make it more right but I don’t know how to take that risk. So many "what-if-questions" pre occupied me whenever I think of settling down. I know that its not that complicated as what I think it is…but no one can blame me for thinking this way because I've witnessed so many cases of broken family and failed relationships. 

I don’t know what will happen in the future and the only thing I knew is that it’s up to me and him whether we will make our family life worth living for.

compromise.

hi world. I'm back. i am not really sure if its for long. good thing, i have something to write about, but  not so sure if it will have sense at all. i don't know why i started writing again? its probably one way of excusing myself not to do my assignment in Cardio, which is almost a week late. Gosh, I've been wasting a lot of my precious time doing nothing and thinking what i should do? waaaaaaaaaaahh, nonsense.

lately, I've been distracted reading novels again. i was convinced to start reading the 50 shades of grey trilogy, which was suggested by some of my friends online. i enjoyed the first book. it will definitely possessed you...making you vulnerable and wanting...

the story was mainly about the love and sex affair of Christian Grey, a business tycoon, and Anastasia Steele, a college graduate. it is mostly about abnormal sexual practices, interplay between dominance and submission. because of its bold and erotic story lines, the 2nd and 3rd book was banned in UAE.

I'm done reading the book 1 and all i can say is that "relationship is not solely about sex." Christian Grey might have influenced us that being dominant in a relationship allows you to get whatever you want. On the other hand, Anastasia Steele highlights the importance of "compromise" which will allow both parties to benefit with each other. 

To COMPROMISE means...

                 ... to cooperate
                 ... to make settlement
                 ... to negotiate
                 ... to understand
                 ... to give and take.

This powerful word is the very reason why relationship last long.

Last week (August 1, 2012), we celebrated our 3rd year anniversary. we both are very happy because even if we don't have that perfect relationship, we are able to tolerate each other that long. i just hope to have more years with him.

more, more love on our 3rd year.

selfish me.

I was watching PBB Teen Edition last night. Since its mother's day, Big Brother allowed the housemates to meet and talk to their mom in person. They were asked by kuya whether they would want their mom to visit. Each one of them will enter a dark room, inside is one table with a lamp. If they want to invite their mom to come, they need to turn on the lamp. Almost all of them want their mom to come and join them but one housemate refuses to do so. Its not that she doesn't like to see her mom. It's not that she doesn't miss her. She decided not to invite her because no one will take care of her brothers and sisters at home. She was trying to tell herself that she can manage alone but her siblings might without her mom. See how much she loves and cares for her family? Watching that episode made me realize how selfish I am. Just today, I was feeling sad because my bf will go for vacation tom and unluckily I will not be with him. Selfish me! I should be happy for him because he will be with his family again after almost 11 months. I feel so bad being me. This just proves how selfish and immature I am. Sorry...

my personal experience of love

I’ve read so many books that talked about love and I can say that no author is good and qualified enough to define, let alone describe it. We all have our own experience: of love, of loving and of being loved. Some are lucky to find it, others are not. In most cases it comes the least we expect it.

Love takes us by surprise.

Yes, love took me by surprise. It came into my life without me knowing it. It came just like that. It came exactly the time when I was in love with someone else. I was not prepared for it. I was wrong to believe that I was deeply in love with that person. Because if I was I won’t feel any doubt, I won’t let any chance for another one to come into my life.

But, love takes us by surprise.

I met a total stranger who changed the path I was traveling long before. I thought I was living my life the way it should be. I thought I was happy. I thought I didn’t need anyone and anything else and that no one could change the way I’m feeling…but I was so wrong…

…Because Love takes me by surprise.

The new love was greater than I was experiencing. He came and he changed everything. At first I sense that it was merely a feeling that will pass…something that will not last…but I was totally wrong…because it does stay. I don’t know until when but even if it will go for sure it will leave a mark.

Love takes me by surprise.

We had been introduced. We exchanged smile. We talked in a casual way. We chat. We exchange calls and text messages. We stayed like this for months. I was able to know him better. He was able to know me better. We became friends but it didn’t just stop there.

Love takes me by surprise.

Emotions are getting stronger and in everyday it is getting better and brighter. We started feeling in love…until we decided to be “in a relationship”. Our world became bigger. We both became part of each other’s world. I started to call him my “MINE”.

Love takes me by surprise.

We are “in a relationship” for almost a year and 6 months…and I can tell that I was never been this happy and contented in my life. We might not have the perfect boyfriend-girlfriend relationship but it doesn’t matter because we both are willing to compromise for each other. We both will do our best to make things work between us.

-cha

love

I've got the same old heart with a brand new beat ...