my mom's day

its my mom's birthday today. happy birthday mom....


i love you..mwah...mwah

artsite

pls do visit my account in deviantart.com

http://www.crazycha.deviantart.com/

i need to survive

my mom left the country last sunday (april 6, 2008). she has her annual leave and she will stay there in the Philippines for a month. since i still have my work here, i was not able to come with her... so i'm alone here.

i need to manage everything on my own and thanks God im surviving.

It's the third day of my so-called independent month....28 days to go! whew!

alone has beauty

I do not know if you have ever been lonely; when you suddenly realize that you have no relationship with anybody - not an intellectual realization but a factual realization...and you are completely isolated. Every form of thought and emotion is blocked; you cannot turn anywhere; there is nobody to turn to; the gods, the angels, have all gone beyond the clouds and, as the clouds vanish they have also vanished; you are completely lonely - I will not use the word alone. Alone has quite a different meaning; alone has beauty. To be alone means something entirely different. And you must be alone. When man frees himself from the social structure of greed, envy, ambition, arrogance, achievement, status - when he frees himself from those, then he is completely alone. That is quite a different thing. Then there is great beauty, the feeling of great energy.
Alone Has Beauty - The Book of Life (December 1)

paintings

here are some of my artworks...

colorful sunset
watercolor & acrylic on Oil-painting paper
36 x 48 cm
REFERENCE PHOTO: "into the sun" by brumie
@ deviantart.com

sunset
watercolor on water color paper
42 x 29.7 cm
REFERENCE PHOTO: "The blurry sun" by crazycat_7
@ deviantart.com

im blue
watercolor on water color paper
42 x 29.7 cm
REFERENCE PHOTO: "Yesterday I Knew You" by

morbidthegrim @ deviantart.com

pinetree
Oil on Oil-painting paper
36 x 48 cm

this is what i want.

"I have fulfilled their dreams so now its time for me to pursue mine."

...after so many years of not being able to draw and paint...now finally im back to being an artist. i admit that im not very good at it. There is this one person who even told me that my work is a trash..."ano toh basura?"--> that was her exact words...It was back in my high school days (4th year to be exact). well, never mind about that.

Now i'm using oil for my painting. i'm also using watercolor & acrylic but i prefer oil the most because of its slow drying time and i can easily correct & remove unwanted brush strokes. but whenever i used such medium i find it so difficult to wash my brushes. i hate using solvents. it makes me sick. i planned to buy the odorless thinner for cleaning my brushes but since i have no time to visit an art gallery i stop using oil for now.

i promise to upload the pictures of my artworks. soon...

i may not be a very good artist or i may not become famous in this field but at least i'm enjoying. i really liked doing such thing.

conversion

It's my job interview tom...kinakabahan na ko....gudluck sakin...

well you know what? it was last wednesday when they told me.."Your interview would be on monday."

the same day...i started vomiting...i took phenergan tablet. it stopped. but then the following morning i passed out watery stool. gosh diarrhea naman! i went to the hospital got injected in the butt, instructed to rest and was given an IV infusion of flagyl. i went home & work with IV cannula...but now thanks God im ok.

was it because of my anxiety? huh?

well, i really dont know but maybe it was.

my emotional anxiety was converted into physical symptoms. what? conversion. i dont think so. never mind. anyway, just wish me luck.