extremeness in life

when do you feel very pre-occupied? when do u feel u dont even know what is it that you feel? Dont know if its right to feel this way or not? How can you possibly cope up with the extremeness of what you are feeling?

how can you solve a problem when you dont even know what is it? dont even know how to describe it. dont know if its a problem or just part of our life we cant accept...

lots of unrecognized emotions, denials, sadness, madness, regrets, unanswered questions...all of which should be accepted even without undestanding it...without knowing why it happened for, why it happened now...for it will all be answered in God's time.

i missed you lola. luv u.

in fantasy

"I know in reality we can't be together, so I just close my eyes and you're right here with me... in my dreams you're mine forever."

the day that we've all been waiting for...

it was almost 4: 05am when i finally got my sleep. i fell into deep slumber not because im sleepy. it was because i already forced myself to fall asleep keeping my eyes close even i wanted to stay awake the whole morning of christmas. my mind is reminding me that im tired but my fragile body doesn't feel anything at all. "you rest pls..." my mind is having difficulty transmitting and decoding that impulse that's why i was awake even my body is about to collapsed already.

I love this day. It may not be very important to some people but for most of us, this is the day that we've all been waiting for. it maybe just an ordinary day for some, a usual day that nothing so special about. but for me and for those millions of believers of Christ, "It's a day like no other."
But what is so different about christmas day?

It is special because it's Our Lord's day. Peace and calmness are felt during christmas morning when family celebrates together... when total strangers remove the line of unfamiliarity and acts as if everyone around is a member of a household under one roof...when people tend to smile rather than frown...when enemies forget and forgive and in a certain way they become friends...when people find time to reach out to their loved ones no matter how busy they are...but what is so great about christmas day is that there is a sense of unity among us inspite of the differences we have regardless of race and age. Like Fr. Michael used to tell us, we've waited long enough for this day but it passes very quickly, just in a snap of our fingers its gone. but... but its all worth it. every effort is paid off, every second of waiting is all worth it. Merry Christmas to ALL!

in memory of...

Regret comes in different forms and meanings. and it is always been in the end of every situation or occurences that we feel regretting. In the case of the death of our loved ones, we regret lots of things...words left unspoken, unexpressed emotions, love that was not shown. But even if how much we feel sad about it...even how many times we say our lament word "if i had only known"...even if we cried so much and blame ourselves because of it...nothing can undo or change the past. All we can do is live our life and move on. Only Our Creator has the answers to the mystery of death and the most better way of dealing with it is acceptance.

...Let us all pray for the soul of Mr. Richard John Gaddi...

...and my condolences to the rest of the family...

waaaaaahhhhh!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

thank u so much

i came back last monday (20/10/08) but my heart and soul is still not over my vacation in d phil. ive been forcing my brain to accept d fact dat "the 1month" of freedom and getting together with frends and family, who i miss being with, was finally over. it seems dat it was just yesterday wen im packing my things thinking wat im supposed to do wit my unplanned vacation but back to reality, everything is just part of d memory, which will never be forgotten.

yah, i did enjoyed it so much that im still missing it so badly wishing i stayed longer there. well, unplanned things are really full of surprises. most of them were really suprised when i got der and dat made it very exciting...seeing their faces with shock..ow! ...

so to all my frends who i spend my time with during those times, thank u so much. i really did have a great time. and to those whom i failed to hang out with i'll make it up to you next time. see you then. mwah

what's goin' on?

ITs been a long time since my last post here. I guess i've been very busy with some unnecessary things ...

what's up? what's new?

@@@ busy with my tiring split duty in the clinic

@@@ more time with my family ( my mom and dad)

@@@ playing with my psp...
... done playing legend of heroes which in fact i played twice already.
... thought that monster hunter freedom is quite interesting but becoz i cant slay the Yian kut-ku i stopped it and erased the game in the memory card...totally pissed off
... currently playing final fantasy crisis core and dungeon seige throne.

@@@ busy with my art career...
... maintaing my account in deviant, joining some contest there to avail for a subscription. well, if only i could afford it. waaahhh! but no luck and maybe my deviations are not that very good and impressive. i need to admit that lots of people excel in that field but not me hoping one day i could...

@@@ still waiting for my appointment in the hospital.
its been a year already and i still did not get the job in the hospital. i dont know why it took so long for them to hire me (but never did i consider the possibility that perhaps they just dont want to hire me at all...well, if it will take me a another year to wait maybe i will start thinking about that...waaahhh!)

@@@ trying to reach out to my friends but most of them are too busy already with their own
personal life and career...GOOD LUCK TO ALL!

@@@ deciding what to do first about my plan in taking the NCLEX-RN exam.