this serious thing.

I wanted to experience more of my freedom before committing myself to something so serious...something that would change my life and my priorities. It’s not that I don’t want "change", perhaps, I’m just afraid of what might happen because personally I don’t know what to do and how to adapt to that certain change in my life. I know I should be thankful. I know I will someday but right now, I really don’t know what to feel.  

Its not that I’m not ready for anything. Maybe I’m still enjoying my life now and to be honest, I’m a bit afraid of taking chances.  I’m afraid that this “serious thing” might just ruin what we have now…because now we are so much better being “in a relationship”. I know that this “serious thing” will make it more right but I don’t know how to take that risk. So many "what-if-questions" pre occupied me whenever I think of settling down. I know that its not that complicated as what I think it is…but no one can blame me for thinking this way because I've witnessed so many cases of broken family and failed relationships. 

I don’t know what will happen in the future and the only thing I knew is that it’s up to me and him whether we will make our family life worth living for.