reflective journal 2

DAY 2 (November 5, 2012)

Today, my patient was posted for debridement of the gangrenous lesion in his right heel. One of his co-workers had visited him and was asking about his condition. They had a short conversation but I can observe that he was happy and thankful about it that finally someone visited him and that someone cares. But I knew he would be happier if his family is here to support him. Since they were all in Pakistan, no one will be here for him today. No one will be able to tell him that everything will be okay. Although, I can do that for him, it will not be the same as his family’s support and assurance. I feel bad for his condition. I knew he can get through with it but the situation would be easier for him if they are here. 

His situation brings me to a realization that “there are some walks in our life that we have to take alone.” There are some decisions that we need to decide on our own. Although we have our support system, our family and friends to be there for us, there will come a time that we will be facing some problems and issues alone and we should decide for ourselves. Is it part of growing up or reality itself? I don’t know. I really don’t know. Whatever it is, whenever it will come, we should be prepared for it.

I grew up with my parents who were very supportive with what I want and what I do. They were always there to stand for every decision I make. They were there to give their opinions and what they think is right. I always ask for their guidance but sometimes because of so much support from them I feel do dependent. I was once faced with difficulty in deciding for myself. I find it hard to decide alone. That’s why I fear that day when I will be walking and taking a step by my own. I don’t know if I would be prepared for it, I knew I need to be.

I wanted to be there for my patient, I wanted him to feel that he is not alone. But who am I to him, probably he is thinking that I was just a student nurse who was there for just the sake of completing my requirements. If only I could communicate with him a little deeper. If only I can fully express to him that I know what he feels right now, maybe he will feel a little better.

Charo Adame