reflective journal day 1

Day 1 (November 4, 2012)

It was nice to be a student again, I survived my first day of duty in my so-called “student life”. I was a bit nervous at first knowing that I would be working in a totally new place with new set of people. It went well; the staff there had been really helpful and friendly with me. But what overwhelmed me is the census of patient. 52! Whoa! Comparing to the hospital where I am working right now, it is a whole lot of number. It is almost four times our usual patient census. Well, the staff here had been really working a lot that makes them very knowledgeable and expert in their field.

In my life as a nurse and as a student, I’ve met a lot of people dealing with Diabetes. There are some who are managing it well, being positive in every way and seeing it in a different light. There are those who let the condition take over their life, simply believing that they cannot do anything about it and that their life is over. Worst of all, there are those who deny it and simply go along with what they want in life, not worried at all with the dangers diabetes can bring and its complication. Who am I to judge them? I know nothing about how they feel and how the condition of being diabetic changed their life. All I know is that it somehow pain them to answer me, every time I will ask “When did you lost your limb?” My patient’s left big toe was amputated 2 years ago but still he doesn't look comfortable discussing it with me.

I can say that the disease process of diabetes can be understood easily by reading and studying but the pain it brings to the life of those who are diagnosed is very hard to describe. How much more those who had been amputated and had lost a part of their body? I cannot imagine myself in that kind of situation. Losing a precious part of our body, even how small it is, is indeed very difficult to accept. Perhaps it is the same feeling as loosing someone who you valued the most. Although you can get through it, you will never be the same and complete again.

I've been asking myself, what can I do to help this man? How do I tell him that everything will be okay? And that he can get through it? How do I communicate with him the importance of lifestyle modification in managing diabetes without feeling so much sorry for his condition and without sounding like I am blaming it on him? That’s the part I need to learn as a nurse. I guess the most valuable thing I can just do for him is to let him know that he is not alone in this battle and that there is someone who cares to help him get through with it. If we cannot do anything to lighten their burden then let’s just help them to have a strong back so they can endure the weight of what they had been carrying.