Dreamland Aqua Park

reflective journal 3

DAY 3 (November 6, 2012)

  

I was on the process of doing an interview with my patient, clarifying some things regarding his health perception, when he told me that he knew that he has diabetes since long time, and I can see how he is feeling sad about it. Probably, when he was diagnosed with such condition, it was his “wake up call”.

We do value different wake-up call in life. There are significant events which shake us and give us the realization that there is something wrong. There comes a certain point in our life that we are forced to change. Sometimes we tend to live life the way we wanted it to be not remembering that there are some limitations in what we can and must do. Just like in the case of the people who were diagnosed with health disorders. Once they knew for the first time that they have this kind of disease/condition, whatever it is, it might influence them to change their lifestyle and reflect what had gone wrong with the way they live their life. Sometimes, we thought that we are living a perfect life and nothing could go wrong but in reality that is not the case.

I remember when my dad had his stroke; I was in my second year the time it happened. I clearly remembered how I felt that time. I was devastated. I feel like I was in an unfamiliar place and I was asking myself whether this is really happening. I was hoping that this will end and that we will be able to live the life we are living and nothing will change. Of course I was wrong. I was force to face the reality after that event, life will be different for my dad and for us as a family. I was feeling sorry for him. I wanted to blame him for being so irresponsible and for not taking care of his health. But who am I to do that, in fact I was also blaming myself for what happened. If only I could do something. It was a horrible wake up call for me because he was my source of strength and with what happened I knew it was my turn to be strong for him.

My patient undergone debridement of the gangrenous lesion in his right heel. Although no matter how many times he was given this kind of wake-up call, I just hope that he will value it this time before he will feel sorry in the end.

Charo Adame

reflective journal 2

DAY 2 (November 5, 2012)

Today, my patient was posted for debridement of the gangrenous lesion in his right heel. One of his co-workers had visited him and was asking about his condition. They had a short conversation but I can observe that he was happy and thankful about it that finally someone visited him and that someone cares. But I knew he would be happier if his family is here to support him. Since they were all in Pakistan, no one will be here for him today. No one will be able to tell him that everything will be okay. Although, I can do that for him, it will not be the same as his family’s support and assurance. I feel bad for his condition. I knew he can get through with it but the situation would be easier for him if they are here. 

His situation brings me to a realization that “there are some walks in our life that we have to take alone.” There are some decisions that we need to decide on our own. Although we have our support system, our family and friends to be there for us, there will come a time that we will be facing some problems and issues alone and we should decide for ourselves. Is it part of growing up or reality itself? I don’t know. I really don’t know. Whatever it is, whenever it will come, we should be prepared for it.

I grew up with my parents who were very supportive with what I want and what I do. They were always there to stand for every decision I make. They were there to give their opinions and what they think is right. I always ask for their guidance but sometimes because of so much support from them I feel do dependent. I was once faced with difficulty in deciding for myself. I find it hard to decide alone. That’s why I fear that day when I will be walking and taking a step by my own. I don’t know if I would be prepared for it, I knew I need to be.

I wanted to be there for my patient, I wanted him to feel that he is not alone. But who am I to him, probably he is thinking that I was just a student nurse who was there for just the sake of completing my requirements. If only I could communicate with him a little deeper. If only I can fully express to him that I know what he feels right now, maybe he will feel a little better.

Charo Adame

reflective journal day 1

Day 1 (November 4, 2012)

It was nice to be a student again, I survived my first day of duty in my so-called “student life”. I was a bit nervous at first knowing that I would be working in a totally new place with new set of people. It went well; the staff there had been really helpful and friendly with me. But what overwhelmed me is the census of patient. 52! Whoa! Comparing to the hospital where I am working right now, it is a whole lot of number. It is almost four times our usual patient census. Well, the staff here had been really working a lot that makes them very knowledgeable and expert in their field.

In my life as a nurse and as a student, I’ve met a lot of people dealing with Diabetes. There are some who are managing it well, being positive in every way and seeing it in a different light. There are those who let the condition take over their life, simply believing that they cannot do anything about it and that their life is over. Worst of all, there are those who deny it and simply go along with what they want in life, not worried at all with the dangers diabetes can bring and its complication. Who am I to judge them? I know nothing about how they feel and how the condition of being diabetic changed their life. All I know is that it somehow pain them to answer me, every time I will ask “When did you lost your limb?” My patient’s left big toe was amputated 2 years ago but still he doesn't look comfortable discussing it with me.

I can say that the disease process of diabetes can be understood easily by reading and studying but the pain it brings to the life of those who are diagnosed is very hard to describe. How much more those who had been amputated and had lost a part of their body? I cannot imagine myself in that kind of situation. Losing a precious part of our body, even how small it is, is indeed very difficult to accept. Perhaps it is the same feeling as loosing someone who you valued the most. Although you can get through it, you will never be the same and complete again.

I've been asking myself, what can I do to help this man? How do I tell him that everything will be okay? And that he can get through it? How do I communicate with him the importance of lifestyle modification in managing diabetes without feeling so much sorry for his condition and without sounding like I am blaming it on him? That’s the part I need to learn as a nurse. I guess the most valuable thing I can just do for him is to let him know that he is not alone in this battle and that there is someone who cares to help him get through with it. If we cannot do anything to lighten their burden then let’s just help them to have a strong back so they can endure the weight of what they had been carrying.

this serious thing.

I wanted to experience more of my freedom before committing myself to something so serious...something that would change my life and my priorities. It’s not that I don’t want "change", perhaps, I’m just afraid of what might happen because personally I don’t know what to do and how to adapt to that certain change in my life. I know I should be thankful. I know I will someday but right now, I really don’t know what to feel.  

Its not that I’m not ready for anything. Maybe I’m still enjoying my life now and to be honest, I’m a bit afraid of taking chances.  I’m afraid that this “serious thing” might just ruin what we have now…because now we are so much better being “in a relationship”. I know that this “serious thing” will make it more right but I don’t know how to take that risk. So many "what-if-questions" pre occupied me whenever I think of settling down. I know that its not that complicated as what I think it is…but no one can blame me for thinking this way because I've witnessed so many cases of broken family and failed relationships. 

I don’t know what will happen in the future and the only thing I knew is that it’s up to me and him whether we will make our family life worth living for.

compromise.

hi world. I'm back. i am not really sure if its for long. good thing, i have something to write about, but  not so sure if it will have sense at all. i don't know why i started writing again? its probably one way of excusing myself not to do my assignment in Cardio, which is almost a week late. Gosh, I've been wasting a lot of my precious time doing nothing and thinking what i should do? waaaaaaaaaaahh, nonsense.

lately, I've been distracted reading novels again. i was convinced to start reading the 50 shades of grey trilogy, which was suggested by some of my friends online. i enjoyed the first book. it will definitely possessed you...making you vulnerable and wanting...

the story was mainly about the love and sex affair of Christian Grey, a business tycoon, and Anastasia Steele, a college graduate. it is mostly about abnormal sexual practices, interplay between dominance and submission. because of its bold and erotic story lines, the 2nd and 3rd book was banned in UAE.

I'm done reading the book 1 and all i can say is that "relationship is not solely about sex." Christian Grey might have influenced us that being dominant in a relationship allows you to get whatever you want. On the other hand, Anastasia Steele highlights the importance of "compromise" which will allow both parties to benefit with each other. 

To COMPROMISE means...

                 ... to cooperate
                 ... to make settlement
                 ... to negotiate
                 ... to understand
                 ... to give and take.

This powerful word is the very reason why relationship last long.

Last week (August 1, 2012), we celebrated our 3rd year anniversary. we both are very happy because even if we don't have that perfect relationship, we are able to tolerate each other that long. i just hope to have more years with him.

more, more love on our 3rd year.

Winnipeg, Manitoba

The Forks

MTS Centre

 The Canadian Mint

 Bridge Drive-in

 Portage Place

Kildonan Place

at the backyard

The Chapters

Winnipeg Convention Centre

Polo Park

The Legislative Building

Club Regent Casino